Mommy instincts (and baby's too).

This morning I was an overtired negative mess. Why you ask? Did Grace have a bad night? No. She had the best night ever.
She slept for 6 1/2 hours, was up feeding for 45 minutes and went back to sleep for another 3 1/2.
How much sleep did I get? 3 hours.
I'm done with this waking up business. I've been told since she was born that I need to wake her up and feed her every three to four hours.  That wasn't a problem.  Grace has always been a good eater.  Some days she wanted to eat every hour and a half.  Grace is also a good night timer sleeper and a bad waker upper.  From week two she wanted to sleep for 4-5 hours in one stretch in the middle of the night.  So I was trying to wake her up and she wouldn't until she was good and ready.  And she was fine.  I went to my pediatrician and he said she looked great and was gaining weight fine, so I told him my instinct was that since it was only once in a 24 hour period, I felt I should let her sleep, and he agreed that it was ok just once in 24 hours.  But if I hadn't pushed it, no one would have said it, and I'd be a tired, irritated mess every day.  Instead, we both started getting 4-5 hours sleep in one stretch at night and everyone was happy and decently rested.  This is especially important since she doesn't like to nap a lot during the day.
She didn't nap at all for more than 20 minutes for 11 hours yesterday which means I didn't nap either.  She was super hungry all day, probably going through a growth spurt as well as wanting comfort while she's getting over this cold that we've all had and I was happy to oblige since breast milk is the best medicine.  Mike had a meeting after work so by the time I could have napped it was time to eat and I was too hungry to skip dinner, and I need to nourish myself to nourish her!
So after 5 hours of her sleeping last night (I had had three, I usually try to go to bed when she does but she fell asleep really early in the evening and I just couldn't) I spent an hour and a half unsuccessfully trying to wake her up. By the time she woke up on her own and fed, and then went back to sleep, I had been up for three hours and was frustrated to tears which got me so upset and stuffed up again that even though she fell back asleep I couldn't.
This morning she woke up after 3 1/2 hours and promptly fed. She had a huge pee so clearly she isn't dehydrated, she hasn't turned into a skeleton and she didn't spit up or have tummy issues from going too long without food. This happened once before a few weeks ago and both ended in tears. Mine.
So if once every three weeks she's extra tired and sleeps a bit longer than she's "supposed to", I think I'm going to let her.
Being sleep deprived because she was up and needing me is one thing, but being sleep deprived and knowing that you could have had the best sleep you'd had in two months is just bad on a physical AND emotional level.  I may not have a lot of experience with babies but so far my instincts have served me pretty well and I need to go with that or it's not going to be pretty. Me crying over her at 3am and being completely exhausted and irritated when she wakes up at 8 isn't helping her, and it certainly isn't good for me.  Grace is healthy.  She's gaining weight fine.  Therefore I think there is one good thing that came from that horrible night.  I've figured out that my baby isn't an "average test baby", she's MY baby.  I spend every day and night with her and I know her patterns and what's good for her and I need to follow my own instincts in her care.  Obviously the pediatrician's advice is important, and there are many good guidelines to follow when it comes to an infant, but sometimes they can't be followed 100% to the letter, because not every baby is the same.  I'm fortunate that I have a baby who sleeps well and for the good of us both, from now on I'm going to let us sleep!  She knows when she's tired and she knows when she's hungry.  I need to trust HER too!